Mumin 3 – Mumin och havet

HISTOIRE DE M. TRICTRAC

1

Mr. Trictrac is devoured by love of science.

Vague aspirations to celebrity.

Plans hatched.

 

2.

New ideas!!!!

Mr. Trictrac tells his family about his plan to discover the sources of the Nile.

 

3.

Mr. Trictrac's parents are opposed to his plan and do not want him to leave.

Deciding to engage in a deception, Mr. Trictrac bids his parents

good night, as if going to bed. His parents still offer some gentle remonstrances.

4.

The father locks Mr. Trictrac's door just to make sure.

At the moment when Mr. Trictrac was about to depart for the sources of the Nile by the chimney, a thief comes down it.

Mr. Trictrac seeing that the thief is afraid, takes courage, and intimidates him

5.

Mr. Trictrac has the thief tell him where the chimney leads, then gets him to lie down in his bed in his place, and escapes for the sources of the Nile.

Meanwhile the police getting wind of a thief on the roof, surround Mr. Trictrac's house.

Reaching the roof, Mr. Trictrac considers in what direction he should descend, to make for the sources of the Nile.

6. 
   The police espying Mr. Trictrac take him for their thief and climb up in order to surround him cleverly from behind.

The police having summoned Mr. Trictrac to give himself up—He responds wittily that he will rather give himself up to a search for the Nile.

Great trouble for the Police. Mr. Trictrac in order to get rid of them, pushes the ladder against the other side of the street.

7.

The police lieutenant, alerted that the police are in jeopardy, promptly calls up the Reserve.

The lieutenant orders the Reserve to surround the house; and himself engages in a reconnaissance, by the attics. The Reserve is alerted to act at the first signal.

The lieutenant emerges by a skylight.

8.

Meanwhile the father asks through the door whether his son is still of the same humor. The thief replies yes, according to his instructions.

The father finds his son horribly changed.

The doctor sent for, has the symptoms described to him, from the beginning.

9

The symptoms established, the Doctor explains to the father all of his son's illness, how it is a very common case resulting from a superabundance in the chyle, in conjunction with a heating of the lumbar glands; and how despite the gravity of the case, he is bound to bring him out of it, barring accidents.

The doctor having prescribed purges, the Apothecary is sent for.

The thief seeing danger approach, seizes the weapon. The apothecary, disarmed, gets the worst of it.

10.

The thief having persuaded the apothecary that it was all only a joke, has him get into the bed in his place, while he goes to fetch some dry clothes.

The apothecary meanwhile having fallen asleep, the thief puts on his clothes and hearing a noise, escapes.

The father finds his son horribly changed by the purges. He calls instantly for the doctor.

11.

On arriving, the doctor explains to the father that this is the normal course of the sickness; that the effect of the purges is to act on the fibers that constitute the normal state of the physiognomy; that he had foreseen this result, and that as a consequence he is very satisfied with the state of the patient. The case is serious, very serious without doubt, but he will certainly pull him through, barring unforeseen accidents. He orders hot toddies.

Meanwhile the Police Lieutenant having tried to arrest the thief, a struggle is engaged between him and Mr. Trictrac, at the moment when the thief emerges.

The thief having recognized the lieutenant of police, very hurriedly descends again.

12.

The apothecary however having woken up and finding his clothes missing, cries stop thief! Stop thief! Stop thief! Stop thief!

The thief hearing the shout stop thief, hurriedly climbs up again, and loses his syringe.

The apothecary seeing his syringe, sets off in pursuit.

Struggle all round. The apothecary shouts stop thief, and the thief also, louder still.

13

Meanwhile the police continue to surround the house most punctiliously

The police lieutenant hearing the cry stop thief fears he is mistaken and stops abruptly. Suspicions fall on the apothecary whose suspicions fall on the thief, whose suspicions fall on himself, while Mr. Trictrac suspects them all.

Seeing this, the thief undresses, gives his clothes to the delighted Apothecary saying to him: If everyone here does likewise, I shall soon be clothed. Suspicions fall on the two others.

14.

After which the thief politely approaching Mr. Trictrac, begs him to believe that he was not thinking of him. All suspicions are now concentrated on the lieutenant who suspects them all.

After which the Thief with as much dignity as he can muster, summons the Lieutenant to give him back his clothes, and assures him of his pardon if he returns unresisting to an honest life. Profound astonishment of the Lieutenant.

15

The lieutenant resists and the two others lend a hand, being convinced of his guilt. The thief dresses accordingly.

The thief, once dressed, tells the lieutenant that he is sorry for him, by reason of a humanity natural to him, and that he will allow him to descend by the chimney into a room where he will find clothes belonging to himself, which he can take as a gift.

16.

Mr. Trictrac calmly venting his heart tells the apothecary of his plan and proposes that he accompany him, giving him to understand that along the way he would be able to exercise his modest trade.

The apothecary is won over, and begins to cherish the noble idea of massively extending his art,

of bringing it to hitherto unknown peoples,

of working on a grand and magnificent scale! With a huge range! Over a large part of the globe! !!!!!!!

17.

Relieve suffering humanity!!

penetrate perhaps into Royal palaces!!

And play a part there! Oh! a part!!!

be admitted to intimate conversation with the great!

The apothecary sits down, flooded with delicious thoughts.

18.

Meanwhile the Lieutenant who has taken cold, finding a good bed, still warm, gets into it.

The father finds his son horribly disfigured by the hot drinks. He sends immediately for the doctor.

The doctor arrives and examines the patient's condition.

19.

The doctor explains to the father that this is a crisis he had foreseen, and favorable, the effect of the hot drinks correctly administered, in good time, and at the right moment. The case is still serious without a doubt, but another such crisis and all will be well, barring unforeseen accidents. He prescribes emollients.

Meanwhile the thief     orders the reserve to go look for a ladder to get him off the roof.

The reserve sets off, marching in step.

20.

The Reserve having made a left flank experiences some difficulty in entering the street.

Meanwhile the thief becomes violently angry at the Reserve, finally shouting in order to extricate them: Break ranks!

The Reserve tries to break ranks and fails; less by lack of discipline, than because of the ladder.

21

Meanwhile all the police finding themselves suspended, the town is given over to disorder. Children insult a distinguished personage.

A nobleman is insulted in public view by a low fellow to whom he owes thirty ecus which he won't pay.

Whole families travel without a passport!!!

22

An immoral child is seen on a turfed slope !!! (infringes art. 2).

A lamp is lit on a night of full moon!!!!!!! (art. 3).

A citizen carries a sword-stick! ! ! ! ! ! (art. 9).

A single damsel raises nasturtiums on a windowsill!!!! (art. 15).

23.

A serenade is played at 20 minutes past midnight!!!! (art. 20).

A fire breaks out, and the chaos reaches a climax. Ordinary, unqualified townspeople go to fetch the pumps themselves, set up a chain, and put out the fire before the fire brigade can muster, before the captain arrives from his country house where he is sent for; before the deputy captain, delayed by waiting for the delivery of a brand new uniform, could meet him and give his orders. A woman sounds the alarm without waiting for the Churchwarden to finish shaving. The townspeople make a chain with wooden pails instead of fetching large buckets from the other end of the town. The disorder is terrible.

24

On the day celebrating the King's birthday, only the palace is illuminated!!!!

A pig goes to the Butcher's without passing through the City toll! ! ! ! ! ! ! (art. 36).

Apothecaries practice without a licence! ! ! ! ! ! ! (art. 19).

A citizen enjoys a pipe of contraband tobacco! ! ! ! ! ! The wretch!!! (art. 20).

25

All the good old boys grieve, and regret the good old times.

26

Meanwhile the thief having had the happy idea of ordering a charge in double time, the police extricate themselves by letting go the rungs of the ladder in order to execute their maneuver. But, with their left arm much lengthened, the maneuver suffers.

When the thief gives orders to the police to hold up the ladder, they find their arm restored to its proper length. Mr. Trictrac and the apothecary leave immediately for the sources of the Nile.

Meanwhile the lieutenant after having had a good nap, rises and puts on the thief's clothes in order to return home, without noticing that an emollient has been put on his face.

27

The lieutenant and the thief having recognized each other, mutually arrest each other simultaneously, and mutually deliver each other to the police who stand pat, attracted by equal forces, on one side the lieutenant's voice, on the other, his uniform.

But the thief having pulled from his pocket his own description, easily proves that it relates to a lieutenant in uniform, but for the emollient, which is a trick, he says, to conceal his face. The lieutenant is taken to prison on the 7th of the current month.

28.

Meanwhile the father no longer finding his son, undergoes inexpressible anguish. He immediately sends for the doctor.

The doctor comes, and examines the state of the bed.

Recognizing the symptoms, the Doctor explains to the father that his son has become delirious, which was to be expected, the emollient having acted on the brain via the parotid glands and the palatine region. That he was therefore wrong to leave the door unlocked, very wrong; and if he behaves like this, he cannot take responsibility for anything, and if he goes on like this, he washes his hands of the case, and that above all he must find his son.

29.

The father excuses himself to the doctor, sends off people in search of his son, telling them they will recognize him by his emollient, and that they should bring him any person wearing an emollient or cataplasm.

The Reserve however, whirling around, causes terrible disruption on the 16th inst.

30

Seeing this the thief orders a charge on the Reserve, with fixed bayonets.

The Reserve who have heard the order also make a charge, with fixed bayonets, as if by instinct.

The whole police force, aiming badly, get stuck. There are terrible disorders anew. Most of the population suffers bruises and injuries.

31

The civic authorities meanwhile come to the help of the population by establishing in each district cauldrons for cheap emollients. They are issued on production of a certificate of good conduct.

The Baron C.D. . . .takes the opportunity to establish on reliable data

a comparative table of the morality of different districts, counting the heads with emollients from his window.

32

The father's agents after gathering together all those wearing an emollient, return to his house.

All the pickpockets having taken the precaution of procuring good emollients, great disorder results; but the number of respectable people is augmented thereby.

33.

Horrible embarrassment of the father at the sight of the crowd being brought to him. After he calls out Jaques, Jaques!—194 present themselves.

With ingenious use of the process of elimination, the father cries Jaques Benedict!— 36 detach themselves from the 194.

Still using the same process, the father cries: Aged 38 years and two days!—3 detach themselves from the 36.

Seeing the success of his method, the father pauses to jump for joy.

34.

Still using the same process, the father cries: Fair-haired!—2 detach themselves from the 3.

And born in this town!!—815 are added to the 2.

Profound discouragement of the father, who is quite nonplussed; his method having succeeded up to that point.

With the impaled police making an appearance at this moment, the crowd quickly dissolves.

35.

Meanwhile the exasperation against the chief of police reaching its climax, the citizens spontaneously take the thief off to prison, to be tried and punished.

Very natural anger of the Lieutenant at the entrance of the Thief, the cause of all his misfortunes. He threatens to knock him down if he doesn't give him back his clothes. To which the thief willingly agrees, telling him: not so loud, you'll get them.

After which the lieutenant demands that, before returning his clothes to the thief, the latter shall sign a document by which he declares that he, the lieutenant, is the only, authentic, true and indivisible chief of police. To which the thief very willingly agrees.

36

Meanwhile the warder having come to fetch the Chief of Police, and made some difficulties about his face, the lieutenant tells him: Fool; take a look, and shows him his document and his uniform.

As a result, the lieutenant is taken before the Supreme Court, where his crimes are read out to him, consisting in having corrupted the police, let them run riot, and having them threaten the lives of the citizens. Profound surprise of the Lieutenant. He is floored, and his hat too.

37.

The lieutenant takes an eloquent turn. Having said that from Orient to Occident and from East to West, there is no lieutenant more innocent than he, he proves his alibi since the disorders by noting that he was arrested on the 7th and the disorders did not begin until the 10th.

But the Public Prosecutor refutes the alibi by means of a long report where he proves that the lieutenant having an emollient, and emollients having been distributed only since the 10th, it follows that the lieutenant cannot have been arrested on the 7th, and that he was free on the 10th and following days. Upon which the lieutenant is condemned to be hanged, unanimously.

38.

The lieutenant having recourse to a petition of mercy, the president of the Court carries the petition to the King who is admiring the cuteness of his little son, a young prince of great promise.

The young prince having taken the petition makes a pretty little boat out of it.

24 hours have gone by with no message from the King. The lieutenant is hanged in an interior courtyard. Fortunately the emollient lessens the pressure of the rope and he does not lose all hope.

39.

Meanwhile the thief thinking it wise not to stay in prison, escapes by the roofs like the first time. On the way he finds the lieutenant in his interior courtyard. The lieutenant threatens to have him hanged if he doesn't unhang him.

The thief unhangs the lieutenant.

The lieutenant in fear of being recognized and rehanged, demands that the thief give him his clothes. The Exchange takes place after which they go their own ways.

40.

Meanwhile the thief fearing to be taken for the lieutenant and rehanged, reaches via the rooftops the elder Trictrac's chimney, and the son's bed which he is very glad to occupy,

On the other hand the lieutenant is seized and jailed by the warder, who thinks he recognizes his escaped thief.

Having learned that his son has returned, the father runs up.

Profound joy of the father finding his son better.

41.

The doctor comes and learning that the son is better, explains to the father that it is the expected effect of his last prescription, the emollient having as a result of the delirium necessarily evaporated the rachitic fluids accumulated under the scalp. He prescribes broths, poultry, and Spanish wine to fortify the stomach, horseback riding to refresh the internal organs and in general very careful treatment of all kinds.

The father delights in the revived appetite of his son, for whom he has a new suit made.

The thief refreshes his internal organs.